Thanks :-)
chris@GCCodeFactory.biz wrote:
>
> On Jan 21, 2004, at 8:11 AM, Don Calfa wrote:
>
>> Does anybody have the OS airline comparison handy?
>>
>> In case you're not familiar, each OS is compared as an airline,
>> examples: NT 4 explodes and takes out other airplanes in the sky,
>> Linux: you have to build your seat but it's the most comfortable
>> experience...
>
>
> If an O/S Ran Your Airplane
>
>
> DOS Airline:
> Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and
> let the
> plane coast until it hits the ground again, then they push again, jump on
> again and so on.
>
>
> DOS Airline 2:
> Passengers are handed maps, compasses, rulers, pencils and an airplane
> manual (shrink wrapped) as they enter the plane. Have to figure out
> how to
> get the plane to wherever they want to go. Some succeed very well.
> Others
> crash, but they shouldn't have been messing around with airplanes anyway.
>
>
> DOS with QEMM Airline:
> The same thing but with more leg room to push.
>
>
> Mac Airline:
> All the stewards, stewardesses, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket
> agents look the same, act the same, and talk the same. Every time you ask
> questions about details, you are told you don't need to know, don't
> want to
> know, and that everything will be done for you without you having to
> know,
> so just shut up.
>
>
> Amiga Airline:
> The airport terminal is nice and colorful, with friendly stewards and
> stewardesses, easy access to the plane, an uneventful takeoff. For the
> more
> adventurous: travelers can travel on multiple planes and visit multiple
> destinations all at the same time. During these multiple plane trips
> the user
> can even take a side trip on Mac, DOS, Unix, or Windows airlines.
>
>
> Windows Airline:
> The airport terminal is nice and colorful, with friendly stewards and
> stewardesses, easy access to the plane, and a completely uneventful
> takeoff...then, once in the air, the plane blows up without any warning
> whatsoever.
>
>
> Windows95 Airline:
> The terminal is very neat and clean, the attendants are all very
> attractive and the pilots very capable. The fleet is immense. After
> your plane arrives 6 months late, you begin to wonder why it has not
> arrived yet. Your jet takes off without a hitch, pushing above the
> clouds, and at 20,000 feet it crashes without warning.
>
>
> OS/2 Airline:
> To board the plane, you have your ticket stamped ten different times by
> standing in ten different lines. Then you fill out a form showing
> where you
> want to sit and whether the plan should look and feel like an ocean
> liner, a
> passenger train, or a bus. If you succeed in getting on board the
> plane and
> the plane succeeds in getting off the ground, you have a wonderful
> trip...
> except for the times when the rudder and flaps get frozen in position, in
> which case you have time to say your prayers and get in crash position.
>
>
> OS/2 Airline 2:
> The terminal is almost empty -- only a few prospective
> passengers mill about. The announcer says that a flight has just
> departed, although no plane appears to be on the runway. Airline
> personnel apologize profusely to customers in hushed voices, pointing
> from time to time to the sleek, powerful jets outside. They tell each
> passenger how great the flight will be on these new jets and how much
> safer it will be than Windows Airlines, but they will have to wait a
> little longer for the technicians to finish the flight systems. Maybe
> until mid-1995. Maybe longer.
>
>
> OS/2 Airline 3 :
> To board the plane, you have your ticket stamped 10 different times
> by standing in 10 different lines. Then you fill out a form showing
> where you want to sit and whether it should look and feel like an
> ocean liner, a passenger train, or a bus. If you succeed in getting on
> board the plane and the plane succeeds in getting off the ground, you
> have a wonderful trip . . . . except times when the rudder and flaps
> get frozen in position, in which case you have time to say your prayers
> and get yourself prepared before the crash.
>
>
> Unix Airline:
> Everyone brings one piece of the plane with them when they come to the
> airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together
> piece by
> piece, arguing constantly about what kind of plane they're building.
> The passengers split into groups and build several different aircraft
> but give
> them all the same name. Only some passengers reach their
> destinations, but
> all of them believe they arrived.
>
>
> Mach Airline:
> There is no airplane. The passengers gather and shout for an
> airplane, then
> wait and wait and wait and wait. A bunch of people come, each carrying
> one
> piece of the plane with them. These people all go out on the runway
> and put
> the plane together piece by piece, arguing constantly about what kind of
> plane they're building. The plane finally takes off, leaving the
> passengers
> on the ground waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting. After the
> plane
> lands, the pilot telephones the passengers at the departing airport to
> inform them that they have arrived.
>
>
> Win NT Airline:
> Everyone marches out on the runway, says the password in unison, and
> forms
> the outline of an airplane. Then they all sit down and make a whooshing
> sound like they're flying.
>
>
> MPE Airline:
> It's a little difficult to get a ticket because you have to sign up
> for the
> right plane, specify you want a seat to sit in, identify each piece of
> baggage
> and list it on your ticket, and once you enter the plane you may never
> see the
> same steward/ess twice. However, once the plane takes off, the ride is
> exceptionally smooth and usually on-time, unless you cross a timezone
> (this
> results in your being placed in a holding pattern for 1 hour until the
> plane's
> clock and the local clocks are synchronized). Should the unthinkable
> happen
> and your flight ends in a crash, you will be magically whisked back to
> the
> origin of the flight where you will be placed on the next plane out.
>
>
> OS/400 Airline:
> The airline has bought ancient DC-3s, arguably the best and safest planes
> that ever flew and painted "747" on their tails to make them look as if
> they are fast. The flight attendants, of course, attend to your every
> need,
> though the drinks cost $15 a pop. Stupid questions cost $230 per hour,
> unless you have SupportLine, which requires a first class ticket and
> membership in the frequent flyer club.
>
>
> MVS Airline:
> The passengers all gather in the hanger, watching hundreds of technicians
> check the flight systems on this immense, luxury aircraft. This plane has
> at least 10 engines and seats over 1,000 passengers. All the passengers
> scramble aboard, as do the necessary complement of 200 technicians. The
> pilot takes his place up in the glass cockpit. He guns the engines, only
> to realise that the plane is too big to get through the hangar doors!
>
>
> Newton Airline:
> After buying your tickets 18 months in advance, you finally get to
> board the
> plane. Upon boarding the plane, you are asked for your name. After
> 4-6 times,
> the crew member recognizes your name and you are then allowed to take
> your
> seat. As you are getting ready to take your seat, the steward
> announces that
> you will have to repeat the boarding process because they are out of
> room and
> need to recount to make sure they can take more passengers.
>
> -------- added later
>
> Linux Airline
> Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start
> their own
> airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways
> themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the
> ticket,
> but you can also download and print the ticket yourself. When you
> board the
> plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the
> seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very
> comfortable,
> the plan leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the
> in-flight
> meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines
> about the
> great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do WHAT with the seat?"
>
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