Help with theoretical crazyness, please!

Ok, I'm still struggling with these P100 machines that I am trying to run
Star Office on. The problem is that under windows SO loads in 1 min or
less, but it's not stable. Under linux it takes over 5 min to load, but is
stable, but by the time it's done loading the class is partially over, so
it's unacceptable... and no it's not a lack of memory problem.

Anyway, in a dream last night I though it something that is so sick and
twisted it might just work, but I don't know how to do it.
a while ago I heard of a way to "compile" perl programs by causeing a core
dump and then executing that core dump as a binary executable. I was
thinking that if I could do the same thing with SO that I could load the
whole thing on these slow machines in about 10 seconds.. beating windows by
a lot.

If anyone has any ideas how I could do this it would help me convert the
school a lot easier.

Brian Cluff
Sequoia School

ps feel free to let me know if I'm smoking crack too :)