Laugh I nearly Shat! - A trip down memory lane

Sun Jul 29 12:16:37 UTC+0100 2001

Come one come all
Step back in time
This feels so right
but I'm crap at rhymes

I recently got e-mailed this gem from a friend of mine about a guy called Nigel Sollars who subscribes to this list. Well, I used to know Nigel back in the day, and I must say out of all the people I have ever met, he is without doubt the least intelligent, most infuriating, bullshitting 'me-too-er' I've ever had the displeasure to spend time with.

Now normally I wouldn't do this, but I laughed my socks off when I read this that was forwarded me so I thought you guys should at least know what you're getting into when it comes to him. The mail is there in full. Nigel, if you want to prove me wrong, instead of flaming me provide some *SOURCE* - No, not ketchup you retarded fool, the actual source you claim to be developing. My comments are formatted C/++ style. (Not that Nigel would know what that means - maybe someone can draw him a picture)

On Tue, 24 Apr 2001, you wrote:
> Welcome to Phoenix!  What sort of development work do you do? We're 
> just in the early stages of getting a Linux development group going
> in the valley of the sun.  

tools mainly , 

Webserver with Ldap modperl modssl and perl.cgi to create a secure browsable
config tool for a running Ldap system.

/* In English? A cgi-based LDAP editor. Only Nigel doesn't know how to do LDAP
 * (Or real perl for that matter) and knows as much about security as 20 Watt
 * Light bulb. What the hell is a 'secure browsable config tool for a running
 * Ldap system' anyhow? Is it an LDIF generator, does it manage the slapd.conf?
 * I take it you're using SSL? But did you use strict? No, of course not! Are
 * you writing the webserver yourself? What in? You can't use Quickbasic here!
 * Feel free to prove me wrong by posting the source.
 */

removes the use of ldapadd search etc etc

Looking and Developing an Idea for Ebedding linux into a Heart PaceMaker to
monitor Heart rates over an 18month period cycle

/* Ebedding? Is that like iPillows or eSheets on your eBed? First things first
 * PaceMakers generally *do not have MMU's*. And where do you get the 18month
 * cycle from? The only thing you can embed is your head in cloud cuckoo land!
 * Smells like bullshit - ooh yeah, just like momma used to make it!
 */

Kernel Code devel is slow and tedious

/* What would you know about kernels? You're probably thinking of 'Kernel
 * Sanders' from KFC. All the Guys (not just Alan) put in a lot of work into the
 * kernel. If you think you're so shit hot, lets see you post some kernel code
 * of your own. And no hello world doesn't count.
 */

looking at either running a small webserver in kernel space and have it throw
reports out in Html format

/* Are you on medication? You should be, being a pathological BULLSHITTER. What
 * are you going to use to format the reports? Are you going to port perl to
 * kernel space for that? The Tux daemon is *NOT* a full webserver. Attempting
 * to provide full web-services in kernel space is the path towards madness. Of
 * course, I shall retract my allegations of your moronity if you can post any
 * of the source for what you've claimed here, even if it's incomplete, as long
 * as it at least looks like you've got some of the work done. You cupid stunt.
 */

Nige
  > 
> ~Deepak
> 
> On Apr 24 2001, at 08:18, Nigel Sollars was caught saying:
> > 
> >  Hi,
> > 	My name is Nigel Sollars
> > 
> >  I work for a company in the UK called LinuxIT.  I joined this group because im
> > moving to Glendale this summer ( As soon as INS sort things out ).
> > 
> >  Ive used Linux for about 4 to 5 years now and for 2 years in the commercial
> > area.

/* I find that hard to believe. When I knew you directly you weren't using Linux
 * and could barely install DOS. And this is supposedly when you've been using
 * Linux. Bull. Where were you using Linux before your job at LinuxIT
 * commercially? From what I've heard you've only been working there since
 * Q1 of last year.
 */

> > 
> > My prefer'd distro is Slackware ( For ease of use and building of tarball
> > sources ... Plus no RPM dependencies to worry about )

/* Or .deb dependancies. But of course you have no idea what .debs are. */

> > 
> > on the commercial front i support and develope for RedHat, Suse, and Caldera

/* Hahahahahaha!!!! My sources tell me that you've only ever used Caldera once
 * and aside from that have never been near it!
 */

> > 
> > my job description here at LinuxIT is Senior Consultant.
> > 
> > Regards 
> > 
> > Nigel Sollars

If you deside to flame me back then I'll post the CV you sent off to an agency
I work with that landed on my desk (commented of course). That was definately
prize-winning fiction! But... If you decide to prove me wrong and drop the
source I'll take it all back and then you can feel safe in the knowledge that a
nasty little troll like myself will have to go back under his bridge and leave
you all alone.

Regards

The Fiend
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