be sure to read to the very end <g>
Immediate Employment
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Position Available Immediately: Apprentice Sith Lord, Dark Side Consulting
Group.
An unexpected position has opened up in the Dark Side Consulting Group for
an Apprentice Sith Lord. The ideal candidate for this position would like
galactic travel and possess a complete understanding of, and competence
with the Force, or demonstrate a willingness to learn.
Duties include: Performing competitive intelligence, hands-on intervention
in support of the Sith Master's planning initiatives, ability to travel the
galaxy widely, and operating a variety of laser-powered hand weapons and
high-powered space/air vehicles. Some slaying of enemies of the Dark Side is
also required, which may be performed using the Force or hand weapons.
Qualified applicants would possess good communications skills (especially
when speaking in menacing whispers), and would be action-oriented
individuals and risk takers. A background in study of the Force (light
side or dark) is desirable, as would typically be acquired by those with
advanced degrees or significant course work in Jedi Arts from the University
of Coruscant.
Applicants should also be familiar with holographic projection equipment,
possess a valid galactic pilot's license (for all classes of ships), and
must show a willingness to give in to their hate. A proven track record of
using fear and/or Jedi mind tricks to control others is also desirable, as
is the ability to speak several galactic languages. Ideal candidates for
this position would also have no children or other living relatives who are
strong in the ways of the Force. (A new hire would be given several weeks
to meet this requirement.)
Compensation for this position is commensurate with experience, and is
extremely competitive for this field. Benefits include a generous severance
package, a company starship, and a dark-colored clothing allowance. The
Apprentice Sith Lord reports to and works closely with the Sith Master, and
experience in such small, team-based organizations is vital to the success
of the master's plans. Discretion is also highly
valued, as is the ability to see the future before it happens.
Applications will be accepted until the end of July. Transmit them to
jobs@darkside.com.
*****************************************************
Dark Side CG (TM) is a small and highly-focused organization, founded a long
time ago in a galaxy far away. Our core values reflect the short-term
advantages of harnessing hatred for institutional power and the long-term
desirability of controlling the galaxy. We provide direction to our
partner organizations through knowledge management, incident control and our
rapid on-site intervention expertise. Our partnered organizations include
the Imperial Senate, the Hutt Gambling Collective of Tattooine, and many
large software companies.
Dark Side CG (TM) is a wholly owned subsidiary of Microsoft.
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bpeeler@xmission.com
Team OS/2
cogito ergo Warp
(text/plain)