Anybody know any OO experts available for paid phone consultation?

[joe]

.
Do any of you know any Open Office Writer experts who might be available for
some paid telephone consultation? 

I've been reading tutorials, trying to figure everything out; posting queries
various places, on PLUG, on the OOoForum.org forum, and elsewhere, but that
has proved to be way too slow, inefficient, and ineffective. 

Please let me know if you know anyone who might be willing and able to lend a
hand via telephone consultation, for appropriate compensation. 

Joe