Okay ....

Are you colorblind? 
Knowing one's limitations is good.  Now you can watch to make sure you follow each email thread and address each item; I have noticed you miss things frequently.  Linux troubleshooting is very specific; be careful to read the full thread, and respond inline.

Let's address each item until we resolve things:

On Sun, Apr 1, 2012 at 5:49 PM, Michael Havens <bmike1@gmail.com> wrote:
>A route add command is not persistent past a reboot or network restart.

It seems to have been. I rebooted and still can't ssh from the laptop to the ubuntu.
 
But you couldn't also ssh BEFORE you did the route add so these are two different things.
 
Mike, ONE of your systems is on your Wireless and the other is on the wired?  Sometimes wireless to wired connections take longer than the timeout values for ssh or scp.  Try putting them both on either wireless or wired and see if that's more successful?

okay.... I just connected the laptop to the router via a wire but it still times out
 
Timeouts could be why you get a no route to host. 

Verify that both boxes have a default route:

# sudo netstat -rn

Kernel IP routing table <print server>
Destination     Gateway         Genmask         Flags   MSS Window  irtt Iface
0.0.0.0         192.168.0.1     0.0.0.0         UG        0 0          0 eth0
169.254.0.0     0.0.0.0         255.255.0.0     U         0 0          0 eth0
192.168.0.0     0.0.0.0         255.255.255.0   U         0 0          0 eth0

Good you have a default route via eth0.

Kernel IP routing table <laptop>
Destination     Gateway         Genmask         Flags   MSS Window  irtt Iface
0.0.0.0         192.168.0.1     0.0.0.0         UG        0 0          0 eth0
169.254.0.0     0.0.0.0         255.255.0.0     U         0 0          0 wlan0
192.168.0.0     0.0.0.0         255.255.255.0   U         0 0          0 eth0
192.168.0.0     0.0.0.0         255.255.255.0   U         0 0          0 wlan0

You have a default route to the 192.168.0.1 network, but you also have 2 routes to both eth0 and wlan0 (wireless and wired):

Take down your wlan (are you using wicd?) 
Try first to use your Gnome or KDE to take down the wireless.

There are some known issues with wlan0 wireless slowness under Ubuntu:  http://www.hitxp.com/articles/software/ubuntu-fix-slow-wireless-internet-connection-speed-upgrading-11-04-natty-narwhal/

Essentially power management turns it down by default, so we just enter:

# sudo iwconfig wlan0 power off

So, let's concentrate on wired for now:

Leave it down for now, and just use your wired connection:

So after you turn off the Wireless using your Network settings by right clicking the network wireless, enter at a terminal:

# sudo /etc/init.d/networking restart
 

Verify that both boxes have a listening ssh daemon:

# sudo netstat -antp | grep 22
tcp        0      0 0.0.0.0:22              0.0.0.0:*               LISTEN      433/sshd 
<ubuntu>
tcp        0      0 0.0.0.0:139             0.0.0.0:*               LISTEN      12243/smbd     
tcp        0      0 0.0.0.0:445             0.0.0.0:*               LISTEN      12243/smbd
<laptop>
Good you have sshd listening on port 22 on ubuntu.
You do NOT have sshd (daemon) listening on your laptop.

Be sure you have started it if you want to ssh to the laptop from ubuntu:

# sudo /etc/init.d/ssh start

In order to make sure ssh starts at boot in Ubuntu:
# sudo update-rc.d ssh defaults
Reference:  https://help.ubuntu.com/community/UbuntuBootupHowto

Make sure you haven't installed DenyHosts or iptables that limits your connections:

# locate Deny |more
# sudo iptables-save |more

sudo locate Deny|more <------------------no respose
sudo locate iptables-save|more
  /sbin/iptables-save
  /usr/share/man/man8/iptables-save.8.gz
enter
# sudo iptables-save
You are looking to see if your iptables is up and configured to firewall ssh.  Dump the response in here.
 
What - are you running ddclient for?
If you can't properly resolve DNS, you will not be able to ssh:

I don't even know what ddclient is.
It must have been started automatically by something.
ddclient is giving that error.
Oops, sorry wrong link! ddclient is for opendns dynamic dns entries, that logs into your provider and resets a public ip when needed.  Turn it down for now:

# sudo /etc/init.d/ddclient stop

Here's how to set it up (once you get ssh setup); it requires an opendns account.
http://ubuntuforums.org/showthread.php?t=1264710

I went to the link and found nothing regarding the ddclient warning. It was only mentioned in the output of a  poster tail command.

 
Add this to /etc/hosts.allow:

  /etc/hosts.allow looks:

ALL : 127.0.0.1
sshd : 192.168.0.0/24, 78.207.132.32

This example shows an external address you might want to use to connect from outside your internal network (once you open or port forward port 22).

This is the hosts.allow file that I added. Does this look right?

ALL : 127.0.0.1
sshd : 192.168.0.0/24, 192.168.0.1/24, 192.168.0.2/24, 192.168.0.3/24, 192.168.$ <this goes on to x.y.z.10/24>
#shows address to use from outside of network#, 78.207.132.32

No, you need that 78.207.132.32 on the SAME line with either ALL or sshd: or commented out.

And 192.168.$ might cause problems.  Change it to a safe entry: <-------that wa snly mores output to say there was more to it. it goes on to x.y.z.10/24>.... oh. now I see the error of my ways. 192.168 is in the /16 network. silly me!

############cut here############
ALL : 127.0.0.1
sshd : 192.168.0.0/16, 78.207.132.32
###########end ###############

What is that 78.207.132.32 anyways? I know you say it is to connect to my network from elsewhere but how would I do that? would it be ssh 78.207.132.32:<user>@<computer>?
Remove the 78.207-blah address
 
 
make is already its current version
 
# sudo apt-get update <-------------it still says it is the newest version
# sudo apt-get update
Says your system is updated, if it runs?  Correct?


Also setup your /etc/hosts file on both servers following these suggestions:
http://linux.about.com/od/commands/l/blcmdl5_hosts.htm

Should look like this (except with all your hostnames on your network - be sure to put the same one on all your linux boxes):
 127.0.0.1       localhost
 192.168.1.10    foo.mydomain.org       foo
 192.168.1.13    bar.mydomain.org       bar
already done (file existed with the proper information. 
Each ipaddress should match the hostname and ip of the addresses on the network that need to ssh to and from each other.

Check your /etc/nsswitch.conf file to be sure it has
"hosts:      dns files"  

Reference: http://www.faqs.org/docs/securing/chap6sec71.html

Then ping each server before trying to reconnect with ssh.

I am pretty sure that this will work now that you have them both on the same network.

Be sure you don't have any iptables running denying your port 22 on both servers!

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