Some may not appreciate the humor (it's certainly not very politically correct), but I thought this was more than funny.  The descriptions for the languages I have known seem reasonably close.

http://just-humour.blogspot.com/2006/11/programming-languages-are-like-women-by.html

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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.  - Dr. Seuss