If Microsoft had been the first to invent books:

1. Before you can open the cover of your new book, you must obtain a  
book activation code by phoning Microsoft.

2. Sorry, only one person may ever read your book.

3. It's full of spelling mistakes and typos.

4. When you're reading your book, the words can mysteriously disappear.

5. Libraries, which are for sharing books, are illegal.

6. You must acknowledge you have read and understood the Book License  
Agreement Hype (BLAH) before you can read your book.

7. Microsoft has the right to enter your premises to conduct book  
inspections to make sure your book is being read in accordance with  
the BLAH.

8. The Book Users' Group General Alliance (BUGGA) calculates that the  
annual loss of revenues to Microsoft arising from BLAH violations in  
2001 was $10.97 billion.

9. There are two versions of your book - the "Standard" and the "Pro"  
versions. In the standard version, those pages containing the most  
useful information have been stuck together.

10. Confidential information is inexplicably in bigger type that can  
be easily read by anyone glancing over your shoulder.

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