On Jan 21, 2004, at 8:11 AM, Don Calfa wrote: > Does anybody have the OS airline comparison handy? > > In case you're not familiar, each OS is compared as an airline, > examples: NT 4 explodes and takes out other airplanes in the sky, > Linux: you have to build your seat but it's the most comfortable > experience... If an O/S Ran Your Airplane DOS Airline: Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again, then they push again, jump on again and so on. DOS Airline 2: Passengers are handed maps, compasses, rulers, pencils and an airplane manual (shrink wrapped) as they enter the plane. Have to figure out how to get the plane to wherever they want to go. Some succeed very well. Others crash, but they shouldn't have been messing around with airplanes anyway. DOS with QEMM Airline: The same thing but with more leg room to push. Mac Airline: All the stewards, stewardesses, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look the same, act the same, and talk the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are told you don't need to know, don't want to know, and that everything will be done for you without you having to know, so just shut up. Amiga Airline: The airport terminal is nice and colorful, with friendly stewards and stewardesses, easy access to the plane, an uneventful takeoff. For the more adventurous: travelers can travel on multiple planes and visit multiple destinations all at the same time. During these multiple plane trips the user can even take a side trip on Mac, DOS, Unix, or Windows airlines. Windows Airline: The airport terminal is nice and colorful, with friendly stewards and stewardesses, easy access to the plane, and a completely uneventful takeoff...then, once in the air, the plane blows up without any warning whatsoever. Windows95 Airline: The terminal is very neat and clean, the attendants are all very attractive and the pilots very capable. The fleet is immense. After your plane arrives 6 months late, you begin to wonder why it has not arrived yet. Your jet takes off without a hitch, pushing above the clouds, and at 20,000 feet it crashes without warning. OS/2 Airline: To board the plane, you have your ticket stamped ten different times by standing in ten different lines. Then you fill out a form showing where you want to sit and whether the plan should look and feel like an ocean liner, a passenger train, or a bus. If you succeed in getting on board the plane and the plane succeeds in getting off the ground, you have a wonderful trip... except for the times when the rudder and flaps get frozen in position, in which case you have time to say your prayers and get in crash position. OS/2 Airline 2: The terminal is almost empty -- only a few prospective passengers mill about. The announcer says that a flight has just departed, although no plane appears to be on the runway. Airline personnel apologize profusely to customers in hushed voices, pointing from time to time to the sleek, powerful jets outside. They tell each passenger how great the flight will be on these new jets and how much safer it will be than Windows Airlines, but they will have to wait a little longer for the technicians to finish the flight systems. Maybe until mid-1995. Maybe longer. OS/2 Airline 3 : To board the plane, you have your ticket stamped 10 different times by standing in 10 different lines. Then you fill out a form showing where you want to sit and whether it should look and feel like an ocean liner, a passenger train, or a bus. If you succeed in getting on board the plane and the plane succeeds in getting off the ground, you have a wonderful trip . . . . except times when the rudder and flaps get frozen in position, in which case you have time to say your prayers and get yourself prepared before the crash. Unix Airline: Everyone brings one piece of the plane with them when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing constantly about what kind of plane they're building. The passengers split into groups and build several different aircraft but give them all the same name. Only some passengers reach their destinations, but all of them believe they arrived. Mach Airline: There is no airplane. The passengers gather and shout for an airplane, then wait and wait and wait and wait. A bunch of people come, each carrying one piece of the plane with them. These people all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing constantly about what kind of plane they're building. The plane finally takes off, leaving the passengers on the ground waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting. After the plane lands, the pilot telephones the passengers at the departing airport to inform them that they have arrived. Win NT Airline: Everyone marches out on the runway, says the password in unison, and forms the outline of an airplane. Then they all sit down and make a whooshing sound like they're flying. MPE Airline: It's a little difficult to get a ticket because you have to sign up for the right plane, specify you want a seat to sit in, identify each piece of baggage and list it on your ticket, and once you enter the plane you may never see the same steward/ess twice. However, once the plane takes off, the ride is exceptionally smooth and usually on-time, unless you cross a timezone (this results in your being placed in a holding pattern for 1 hour until the plane's clock and the local clocks are synchronized). Should the unthinkable happen and your flight ends in a crash, you will be magically whisked back to the origin of the flight where you will be placed on the next plane out. OS/400 Airline: The airline has bought ancient DC-3s, arguably the best and safest planes that ever flew and painted "747" on their tails to make them look as if they are fast. The flight attendants, of course, attend to your every need, though the drinks cost $15 a pop. Stupid questions cost $230 per hour, unless you have SupportLine, which requires a first class ticket and membership in the frequent flyer club. MVS Airline: The passengers all gather in the hanger, watching hundreds of technicians check the flight systems on this immense, luxury aircraft. This plane has at least 10 engines and seats over 1,000 passengers. All the passengers scramble aboard, as do the necessary complement of 200 technicians. The pilot takes his place up in the glass cockpit. He guns the engines, only to realise that the plane is too big to get through the hangar doors! Newton Airline: After buying your tickets 18 months in advance, you finally get to board the plane. Upon boarding the plane, you are asked for your name. After 4-6 times, the crew member recognizes your name and you are then allowed to take your seat. As you are getting ready to take your seat, the steward announces that you will have to repeat the boarding process because they are out of room and need to recount to make sure they can take more passengers. -------- added later Linux Airline Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself. When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plan leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do WHAT with the seat?"