On Thu, 11 Sep 2003, der.hans wrote:

> here's a proposed press release.

My feedback below.

> On Saturday, October 25, from 10:00 to 16:00, PLUG invites public and
> press to attend a no cost Linux InstallFest at the University of Advancing
> Technology, <UAT addy>.

Maybe should start sentence with PLUG (and it should be spelled out --
don't just use acronym at first).

AP style for time of day is: "from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m.".

You don't need to mention "and press" in the press release. (But invite
them in the letter that you send to the press to ask to cover your story.)

> This is an opportunity for computers users to
> receive expert help in installing GNU/Linux, a freely available operating
> system, on their personal computer or macintosh.

Macintosh should be capitalized.

> There will also be no cost presentations on Free Software and how to use it
> effectively for work or home.

At this point, it may be unclear to the editor (or reader) why free
software is capitalized. (So maybe just keep it lower.)

> Linux is the core of a free operating system that includes software from
> projects such as GNU, GNOME and KDE. It can be installed as the lone
> operating system or alongside another operating system on the computer.
>
> "The GNU/Linux system is a stable, secure operating system that isn't
> susceptable to email, web or document viruses.", said der.hans, CEO of AZOTO
> (Arizona Open Technologies Organization). "AZOTO is proud to help user
> groups promote the use of Free Software.", he continued.

I'd suggest using a real name. (I don't mean to offend if that is your
real name.)

Also, use name of organization first with acronym in parenthesis.

Change period with in both quotes to a comma (and remove next comma).

> Come see Knoppix, a GNU/Linux distribution that runs right from CD without
> using the hard drive.
...

Maybe reword to say ...

  Demonstrations will include: Knoppix, a GNU/Linux distribution that runs
  right from CD without using the hard drive, the Linux Terminal
  Server Project (LTSP) which can provide 20 fast workstations for under
  $2000, OpenOffice.org's office suite, and the GIMP drawing program.

> These tools are all Free Software, guaranteeing people and companies the
> right to use the software as they wish. Free Software can be freely copied,
> modified and examined. Computer experts consider these freedoms essential
> to computer security and believe they provide more robust systems than
> proprietary software vendors.

Okay, I see "Free Software" is explained here.

> Attendees wishing to have GNU/Linux installed on their computers need only
> bring their computer, monitor, keyboard and mouse. Those who connect to the
> Internet using a dial-up modem should bring the modem as well.

s/wishing to have/interested in having/
s/need only/should/

Good job!

   Jeremy C. Reed
   http://www.reedmedia.net/