Lee's Press Release

[Victor Odhner]

The press release looks great.

Here are a few perfectionist comments; take them for what
they are worth, but it's really good as it stands.

"...applications which computer users expect"

s/b "that" rather than "which".

Say "keeping" instead of "retaining".

"... can have their installations tailored so that
they can select either operating system simply by
restarting their computers"

That could be:

"... can arrange to have a choice of operating systems
each time they restart their computers."

Under the "Who:" paragraph (and anywhere else),
correct "Plug" to be all capitals.
"both on the West and East Metro Area"
should be "on both the West and East sides",
or "both IN the West and East Metro AreaS"
(On a side, or In an area.  Picky, picky, picky.)

Look at the press release used for the East Side
event -- did any of the media pick up on Bill Lindley's
"quotes"?  Generally they like to have the name of a
spokesperson to whom they can attribute some of the
things being said, especially opinion-ish things.
So I'm suggesting that you again pick a figurehead
(probably your main organizer) and put selected
conversational comments in his mouth.

And remember to come up with a REALLY short release
that can be uttered in 15-30 seconds by a radio
announcer -- punchy action-filled sentences without
too many tongue twisters, alliterations or 50 cent words.

Vic
(P.S. - I used to rewrite press releases for newspapers,
but that was way long ago.)