[HUMOR] BOFH says "You Can't Handle The Truth!"

[jlf@magusnet.gilbert.az.us]

Yes, Linux is mentioned.

...

Bastard: "You want answers?"

Boss: "I think I'm entitled to them!"

Bastard: "YOU WANT ANSWERS?"

Boss: "I want the truth!"

Bastard: YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!

	Son, processes live on a system that has finite resource. Resources
guarded by people with System Admin experience!  Who's going to look after
that system?   You?  The support guy who drools so much he has a drip
tray?
	I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom.
You weep for lost sessions and curse system admins -- you have that 
luxury! You have the luxury of not knowing what I know - that session
killing, while  tragic, saves resource -- And my existence, while
incomprehensible and expensive to you -- saves resources!"
	You don't want the truth because deep down, in places you don't like to
talk about at user group meetings, you WANT me on the system -- you NEED
me on the system!"
	We use words like "I/O wait", "Pagefaults", and "CPUtime", as a backbone
of a life spent sorting out user-caused problems. You use them as a
cop-out for downtime at Management meetings.
	I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a
person who connects and disconnects under the very blanket of the very
performance I provide, then QUESTIONS the manner in which I provide
it.  I'd rather you left a nice message with helldesk.
	Or read a linux admin manual and checked out the performance 
monitors.  Either way, I don't give a DAMN what you think you are entitled
to!"

Boss: "Did you kill -9 the Database Server?"

Bastard: "I did my job -- I kept the system running!"

Boss: "Did you kill -9 the Database Server?!"

Bastard: "YOU'RE GODDAM RIGHT I DID!"